


The Further Adventures of Joe Jonas: boy cheerleader {if he'd be my darling I would be his hero too}

by liketheroad



Series: Joe Jonas: boy cheerleader [2]
Category: Disney RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-11
Updated: 2011-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-17 22:51:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liketheroad/pseuds/liketheroad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe's senior year. Hard truths from Zac Efron, away games, college applications, and class rings ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Further Adventures of Joe Jonas: boy cheerleader {if he'd be my darling I would be his hero too}

Joe's senior year is approaching and he knows Nick is getting anxious.

They spend the summer as close to relaxing as Nick will allow. Nick takes up swimming, because going to the beach and hanging out is a waste of time, but doing endless laps while Joe stands at the edge of the pool and times him is good quality summer fun. They don't talk about anything, not about them, not about their future, not even when Joe's last year in high school is getting closer by the day. He knows it's at the back of both of their minds every minute they spend together.

By the time classes actually start, he can visibly _catch_ Nick thinking about it, staring at Joe hard, a hand wrapped around his chin. Joe smiles for him, busting out impromptu dance steps and shaking his ass, just to take the worry out of Nick's eyes, to get him laughing again. It works best when Joe's wearing the skirt Demi helped him shorten on her sewing machine, but Joe likes to think his ass is a pretty effective mood booster regardless.

Nick's busy winning games, most of the time, so that's good distraction, too.

He's the captain of the soccer team now, with David as what Nick refers to only as "the Ace" which Joe takes to mean, in reality, his offensive partner in all the little plays Nick draws up. It's possible that someone should remind Nick that he isn't technically coach as well as captain, but that person certainly isn't going to be Joe. He didn't get to be Nick's personal head cheerleader with that kind of attitude.

Kevin's already gone, which is a bummer, but he took Zac with him to UCLA and they're living in sin together and everything, so that's pretty awesome, in Joe's opinion. Even if it's less awesome in their parent's eyes. Joe really has to give it to Kevin for coming out as soon as he and Zac finally got their shit together. He also thinks Kevin deserves a certain amount of snaps for making up for half a decade of cheerful obliviousness by pretty much locking things down for life with Zac about a week and a half into their relationship. Joe figures that's gotta have like, eased the pain, or whatever, for Zac.

So their lunch table is a little more empty, is the thing, at least the first couple weeks. They sit at the same old table and Nick frowns at the empty chairs across from them, and Joe plays footsie with him under the table to cheer him up.

They get by like this until October, when David and Demi, who started dating that summer when they decided their names sounded cool together and that they had the same taste in milkshakes, just show up and sit down with them one day. They share the same milk carton and immediately start two conversations across the table with Joe and Nick. Nick and David talk about their plan to buy new cleats together that weekend, and Joe and Demi talk about whether or not they're cooler than the girls in _Bring it On_. It's a familiar discussion, (they are), and Joe gets lost in it for a good five minutes before he realizes what has happened.

Nick's too busy fighting with David about what brand of cleats are better to appreciate what's going on, but Joe's mouth hangs open, and he stares at Demi, and then looks around at the rest of the cafeteria, sees the way people are staring, and says, "We're at the cool kids' table." He hits Nick to get him to pay attention, and Nick stops in mid sentence, turning away from David and looking at Joe quizzically. "Nick!" He whispers, "We're the cool kids."

Nick scoffs and tosses a cherry tomato into his mouth, "Dude, what else is new."

Joe could inform Nick that this is, in fact, very new, but he realizes, as he's about to, that Nick wouldn't see his point. Even before David and Demi came, even back when it was Joe, and Nick, and Kevin and poor Zac trying to date Kevin by appropriating half his food... in Nick's mind, he was always in the best seat in the house. It makes Joe feel warm; that stupid, involuntary flush happens in his cheeks and he has to duck his head so he doesn't get caught beaming like a loon.

Nick notices, because Nick is always watching Joe, and he catches Joe's chin, refusing to let him hide. He smiles at Joe, a small, proud smile, and then David says something else about why Nick's preferred brand of shoes suck, and Nick is drawn back into the argument, bickering with David persistently. He doesn't turn to Joe again, but he keeps a hand resting securely against Joe's thigh, his thumb running in steady circles the entire rest of the period, reminding Joe he's there. That no matter who else sits with them, Nick's still right there beside him.

\---

Sometimes when Joe calls Kevin, he gets Zac, and they talk about what Zac's doing in his acting classes and what documentaries Kevin made them watch that week. Joe never really volunteers much about himself in these conversations, and Zac's generally not one to press, which Joe appreciates. Nick doesn't ask questions either but Joe can feel his eyes pressing against the back of his neck, and that's enough. Their parents pester him constantly, about colleges, his plans for the future, how he's going to make something of himself. It's nice, in contrast, to pick up the phone and spend twenty minutes talking about mountain lions and performances of _Death of a Salesman_.

When Kevin and Zac come home for Thanksgiving, Joe is happy to see them. Their parents dole out stiff smiles and handshakes to Zac and mildly awkward hugs to Kevin and then recede into the kitchen and study. It's silent and strange for a moment, but then Joe hugs Kevin, planning for a short hello but finding himself latching on and holding tight, gladder than he realized he would be to have his older brother back. Kevin hugs him back just as tight, and doesn't let go until Joe does. He trades Kevin off to Nick, whose hug is more brief but just as strong, and waves a hello to Zac, who is lingering in the hall behind Kevin. Zac smiles back and casually strides over to Joe and pulls him into a loose hug.

"Good to see you," Zac says sincerely, stepping back to let Nick slip around and drape an arm along Joe's shoulders.

Nick says, "How's college?" a little abruptly, his voice just a shade too sharp for the warm moments they've all just shared.

Zac takes no offense, just bobs his head and laces his fingers with Kevin when he retakes his place at Zac's side. "Pretty awesome. You're going to love it."

Nick looks seriously doubtful about this, but Kevin doesn't give him a chance to verbalize this doubt, saying, "We're home now! I've done the college thing straight for almost three months, let's talk about something I haven't gotten to do," and then he hustles them into the living room, babbling about showing them a thing or two about dominoes.

By the time the game is set up and they're all gathered around the coffee table to play, Nick's brow is furrowed with another kind of concentration and Joe feels the tightness loosen in his chest. He smiles gratefully at Kevin across the table, but Kevin is resting his chin on Zac's shoulder, whispering him something about their team's strategy for the game, and he doesn't see.

\---

That evening, Kevin and Nick and Frankie and their father sit down for what is either an actual football game or some kind of a pregame analysis show, which, either way, is of no interest to Joe. Or, as it transpires, Zac.

Joe finds him leaning against the railing of their back deck, squinting at the stars. It looks like he should be out there smoking, Joe thinks, but his hands are empty.

"How's it going?" Joe asks, figuring he's giving Zac enough room to decide whether or not he wants to talk about how he's handling Kevin Sr.'s pinched looks or just say "fine."

Zac scuffs his shoes against the slats of the wood and says, "Better than I expected."

Joe has to nod. It's going better than he expected, too. In the days after Kevin first came out, their father had been throwing around talk of _abominations_ and _prayer healing_ pretty frequently, and their mother had mostly stayed in her room. The few times Joe passed by the closed door, he'd been pretty sure he heard her crying.

"What about you?" Zack asks with a tight smile. "You hanging in there, kid?"

Joe shakes his head, palms up, big smile. "I'm great."

Zac snorts a little under his breath, smiling ruefully. "Right. 'Course you are."

"I _am_ ," Joe says, a little more loudly.

"You're not worried about what the All-Star is going to do when you graduate and go away for college?" He keeps smiling, an apologetic smile, to soften it, but it doesn't stop the flutter in his chest.

Joe twists his hands against the too tight fabric of his jeans. "Don't have to worry about that."

"Why's that?" Zac asks, voice soft, face troubled.

"Not going to move away," Joe says simply.

"No colleges in this town, Joe." Zac points out matter-of-factly.

Joe shrugs. "I can wait a year. College won't go anywhere." He hasn't told Nick about this. Hasn't told anyone. He's taken the SATs, and done respectably well on them. He's filled out all the applications. He just hasn't sent any of them. And he's not planning to. As long as he keeps quiet until after the deadlines, no one can stop him. Not their parents, not Nick.

Zac leans more heavily against the railing, not looking at Joe. After a long time he says, "He worries about you guys. Kevin."

Joe grimaces, "We worry about him, too."

Zac spins up and looks at Joe, eyes hard, "He did it for you, do you know that? It wasn't for me. I was fine with whatever he needed. Whatever time he wanted to take. But you two... after the way you behaved last year, there was too much talk, and Kevin had to do something - anything - to distract your parents. He gave himself up, do you get that? He threw himself into the proverbial fire so you and Nick would be safe."

Joe feels shame, hot and sudden, prick at his throat and eye lids, he turns away from Zac and tries to pull himself together before asking, "Why are you telling me this?"

Zac sighs, coming closer and putting a hand on the base of Joe's neck. "Because I thought you should know. Because Kevin deserves to have his brothers know how much he does, and would do, for them. Because you need to be careful - more careful than you've been - or his sacrifices will be for nothing."

Joe doesn't know what to say, can't promise he'll do anything except what Nick asks, what Nick needs, and that's never lent itself to being careful. Not nearly careful enough.

Zac shakes his head but doesn't press further. He pats Joe on the shoulder, just twice, bracingly, and then walks back into the house without another word.

\---

Nick's half asleep in Joe's bed when he finally comes inside and trudges up the stairs, down the hall, and into his room.

Nick startles at Joe's entrance, rubbing at his eyes and saying, "I'm awake," over and over. He looks so young, so guileless and innocent, and it tugs at Joe's chest.

"Scoot over," he says, crawling under the covers with Nick. Nick only gives him as much room as it takes to keep Joe from falling off the bed, and he secures Joe there with a strong arm around his back.

"It's good to have Kevin home, isn't it?" Joe asks craning his neck back so he can actually look at Nick and not the freckles on his shoulder.

Nick nods and licks his lips. "It's better when we're all here together."

Joe nods too, shuddering a little as he thinks about his plan, about the costs to Kevin he hadn't even calculated, and presses his face into Nick's neck so neither of them has to see the expression on the other one's face.

\---

Joe and Nick go for a run together the next morning, like every day. Unlike everyday, Zac and Kevin come with them. They more so amble behind Nick and Joe, occasionally jogging to catch up, but mostly trailing half a block behind them, holding hands and sharing the same mug of coffee.

Nick's strides are longer, more aggressive than normal. Joe tries to pace him with his own, tries to get Nick to fall into a more comfortable rhythm, but Nick is having none of it.

By the time they get to the coffee shop they usually finish and take a break at before stretching out and walking home, Joe is breathing hard and his chest feels like it's going to cave in. He bends over, touching his toes and glaring up at Nick.

Nick stretches one arm behind his back and smiles unrepentantly. "I feel better," he says cheerfully, glancing behind Joe. Kevin and Zac are just coming back into view, little black dots on the horizon. Nick frowns a little when he sees them.

Joe looks over his shoulder at them and then back at Nick, surprise turning into something worse, "Why were you running so hard today?"

Nick shrugs and doesn't answer. Joe shakes his head and puts hand to his forehead. "Were you trying to leave them behind?" He can't believe it, which is the only reason he's able to say it out loud.

Nick looks at him then, seriously and a little pleadingly, like he needs Joe to understand this, and says, "It's not fair."

Joe waves his hands and demands, "What's not fair?"

Nick cocks his chin at Kevin and Zac meaningfully. "Them. It's not... we're." He frowns at the ground for awhile and then squares his shoulder, declaring boldly, "We belong together just as much as they do. We should be able to show it." He bites his lip. "I should be able to hold your hand when I want to."

Joe sucks in a breath and tries to find a compromise between hysterical laughter and tears. "It's not easy for them, either, Nick. They don't have it so easy." He tries to keep his tone even, gentle, but the words are still what they are.

"I don't want easy," Nick retorts harshly.

Joe smiles at him, so sadly and yet still so full of love, and says, "I know, Nick. You just want me."

Nick surges forward, catching Joe's hair in his hands, and says, "And you want me. Want to be mine. So why shouldn't we get to have that? Why should everything have to change? Why should you have to go away and leave me here and--"

"Hey, hey," Joe soothes, putting his lips to Nick's, damning the consequences, risking it all. As usual, as ever. For Nick. "I'm right here. I'm staying right here." He kisses Nick again, and Nick kisses desperately back, his knee pressing in between Joe's thighs as he crowds in closer. "I'm here, Nick," Joe promises against Nick's lips but, at his words, Nick tears his mouth away, taking a few shaky steps back from Joe.

"You have to go," Nick says, suddenly steady, pulling himself back together in an instant. He looks into Joe's eyes, face shifted from frantic to coolly determined. "You have to. Zac said."

Joe exhales sharply and takes a step away from Nick. "You were listening?"

Nick shrugs, "I went to get a diet coke from the fridge. I heard you talking about me." Joe wonders when Nick showed up. Wonders if he was there to here Zac call him the _All-Star_ , wonders if he was there to hear Joe say he wasn't going to leave.

"There are things I can do, here," Joe protests, feeling panicked all the more in the face of Nick's suddenly calm. "I can go to Community College for a year or get a job - there's no reason why it should - nobody expects anything of me anyway and--"

"I expect it," Nick cuts in, fierce and, underneath that, proud. "I expect it. You're going to do great things, Joe. You'll show 'em, you will."

Kevin and Zac are almost on top of them, barely a few yards away, but Nick leans in quick, not for another kiss, but just to whisper against Joe's cheek, "Just give me some time, just a little while, and I'll catch up with you. I'll catch up."

Joe hugs him even though he knows Zac and Kevin will see, hugs him and hopes Nick doesn't need to hear him say it to know Joe will wait as long as it takes, that he'll always be waiting for him.

 **\----**

Thanksgiving passes in a flurry of prayers, food, and football. Joe doesn't spend anymore time alone with Zac, but he and Nick go with Zac and Kevin to Dairy Queen for ice cream on their last night in town. It feels half like they've gone back in time and half like a double date.

Zac and Kevin sit across from Joe and Nick in a booth tucked into the back of the place and they hold hands while Nick drums his fingers against his thighs under the table to keep himself from taking Joe's hands in his own.

He asks more questions about college, detailed ones about what kinds of classes are worth taking and whether living in residence is a rip-off, where to get the best food, what the teams are like at UCLA, what the city is like, the weather - fact finding now. Joe's got an application for UCLA in the pile along with the rest, but he doesn't see himself there. Doesn't see Nick there. He likes what the place has done for Kevin, likes the tan on his skin and the smile on his face, the confidence going out into the big wide world and doing well has given him, but Joe doesn't want more endless summer days. He wants a place he can sink his teeth into, wants a struggle, challenges he's never known, not harder maybe, but at least different. He thinks he'll need them to keep him busy, to keep him from getting on a plane and going back to Nick.

Zac pays for their ice cream and Nick's spicy fries, and Kevin watches him go while Joe watches Nick lick the last of the salt from his fingers. Their eyes meet in the middle, and when Joe smiles hesitantly, Kevin smiles back, warm and absolving.

Nick finally loses the battle with himself and snakes his arm around Joe's waist, but when he meets Kevin's eyes, he smiles for Nick just the same.

\---

The next morning Kevin and Zac get on a plane after long, hard hugs and threats of decapitation if Kevin doesn't call and get called on a regular basis are exchanged.

Nick and Joe dropped them off at the air port alone, and Nick drives them back the long way around. They end up at school, not home, and wordlessly get out of the car like they've agreed to do this all along.

Nick shoves his hands in his jacket pockets, head down against the strong wind, and silently trudges to the center of the soccer field. Joe trails after him, two steps behind. When they get there, Joe tries to grin for Nick, putting his arms up in a perfect V but Nick doesn't smile back, only shakes his head and brings Joe's arms gently back down to his sides.

"This is where it happened," Nick says, quietly, looking out at the empty stands.

Joe puts his hand flat above his eyes, blocking the sun as he looks too. "Where what happened?"

Nick comes closer and wraps his arms around Joe's back, hands meeting around his waist. He rests his chin on Joe's shoulder, pressing their cheeks together. "This is where I started to believe in things I can't really have. This is where I first believed I could keep you forever."

"You can," Joe says, not caring how his voice cracks with want, with need. He twists around in Nick's arms, still held securely but facing Nick now, hands against Nick's face. "You can. I'll always be yours."

Nick swallows down a lump in his throat, Joe watches his Adam's apple move and he kisses Nick because Nick's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, kisses Nick because he's Joe's to kiss.

"You'll have to give up so much - you'll never be able --"

Joe silences him with another kiss, whispering "shh, shh," against Nick's mouth. "It doesn't matter," Joe promises. "It doesn't matter as long as I still have you."

Nick holds him tight, but makes no promise in return.

\---

The next day is a Monday, and Nick makes Joe mail out all his college applications while he watches, arms crossed.

"Why Northwestern?" he asks once they resume walking.

Joe shakes his head, telling himself he shouldn't be surprised Nick would pick that name out of the half dozen schools he applied to. Maybe his strangest choice, and the one he secretly wants the most. He doesn't even really know why, exactly, except for the image he's been carrying in his mind of Nick, wearing a wool coat and a scarf, pink cheeked and smiling in the snow.

He shrugs, and says, "It's a good school, they have a great athletics department, a solid fine arts degree," he's been toying with the idea of trying to do photography, really do it, not just the random Polaroids he's been taking half obsessively since he learned how to work his first camera.

Nick nods, like he agrees, but he's still waiting for the real reason. They keep walking in silence for awhile before Joe finally finishes by saying, "I don't know. I guess I just think it would be a good change, you know? Go some place that has weather."

Nick says, "Yeah, it would," and doesn't comment on what Joe is sure Nick knows he's thinking; that it would also be nice to be so far from anyone who knows them, from anyone who would recognize them as brothers.

\---

Whenever they're on campus, or out with the team and the other cheerleaders for post game burgers and milk shakes, Demi wears David's letterman jacket. She claims that she's doing in some sort of an act of self-affirming parody, but Joe doesn't really understand that. He only feels an itch, a strange tightness in his skin, wanting Nick's letters draped proprietorially across his back. He settles for wearing his knee socks under his jeans even when they don't have cheer practice or a game that day, tries to be satisfied by that, and by changing from sneakers into black patent Mary Jane's when he gets to school. He likes the tightness of the socks against his calves, likes the way the shoes click against the linoleum of the school halls.

It's mostly enough, and the year is going well, although maybe too fast.

Joe like that they eat lunch with Demi and David and half of the of cheerleaders and jocks, admirer's and hangers on. He likes the pride in Nick's eyes as he gazes across at all their friends who surround him, younger than most but clearly the leader, master of all he surveys, friend to all. It makes him feel less scared for Nick, eases some of the worry about how things will be for Nick once Joe graduates and leaves Nick alone in this place. And for now, he's content with his place at Nick's side, second at the head of the cool kid's table. He's happy; even if he sometimes wishes Nick could pull him up from his chair, as Joe laughed protests he didn't mean, onto his lap. Even if Joe wishes he could sit with an arm around Nick's shoulder, with his legs, only half covered by his skirt, hanging off the side of Nick's thigh, smiling down at him, knowing they were both exactly where they belonged.

\---

In February, the basketball team has an away game two towns over, playing for the regional championship.

Demi is sick, and despite her devotion to spreading cheer, David isn't even on the team, and the rest of the girls just don't have the spirit. So Joe ends up going to the game alone, bumming a ride on the bus with Nick and the rest of the basketball team.

It's about a three hour drive, early evening as the sun is just starting to turn orange and red in the sky, and Joe falls half-asleep on Nick's shoulder as the bus rumbles under their feet.

\---

Joe changes into his cheer uniform in the guy's bathroom at the high school of the home team. He doesn't even think about it, just shucks off his sweater and jeans, wiggles into his skirt and pulls his v-neck top over his head. He wishes, as always, that he filled it out better, but then puts that thought away again at the back of his mind.

As he's coming out of the stall, he hears voices, but opens the door right up anyway, humming the little cheer he wrote about Nick being off the chain himself distractedly, trying to remember all the words.

Because he's humming, he doesn't notice the tense silence that's fallen over the bathroom until he walks up to the faucet and looks up in the mirror to see three dudes standing behind him, staring at him with faces that change before Joe's eyes from shocked to disgusted.  
  
"What the fuck are you doing in that skirt, freak?" the tallest one demands, voice loud and aggressively hostile.   
  
"You some kind of a faggot?" another one spits.

Joe takes a few shaky, alarmed steps away from them, backing up hard into the porcelain edge of the sink. He almost wants to laugh at how surprised he is to be called that word. For everything else Joe's thought about himself, he's never even thought to fear that one. And he always thought Nick was the one who didn't understand what they were up against.

He holds up his hands, smiling, because he doesn't have a rule book for this, just has his white teeth and his disarming laugh. "Just here to support my team, guys," he says affably, hating the deferential tone he hears lurking underneath.

They scoff even more, going from all out disgust into swaggering bluster, "So you're all faggots then," says one, and the other two laugh with him.

Joe feels his fists curl at his sides, and he can't stop himself before, "Go fuck yourselves, you pussies," is falling out of his mouth, his lips curling dismissively.

There's a moment of silence before they all turn to each other, and Joe realizes right before it happens that they're silently deciding whether or not it's okay to punch a guy in girl's clothes, and then a fist connects with his face, and he slams back against the sink again, crumbling to his knees.

His hand flies to his face, fingers pressing protectively over the stinging pain, and he closes his eyes against the jeering above him, counts to ten, and then slowly, making himself go slow, picks himself and up his pom-poms off the ground, and walks out of the room without stumbling once, letting the door swing shut behind him.

\---

Nick doesn't see during the game. Joe keeps his face hidden under the sweep of his bangs, and if he's cheering less vigorously than usual, he hopes Nick doesn't notice under the roar of the crowd. No one is paying enough attention to him, no one else looks closely enough, so Joe is able to just cheer along with the rest of the parents and girlfriends from their town who showed up, and he tries to tell himself he isn't letting Nick down, isn't being a coward by sheltering himself among them.

They win the game, 67-60, and Joe waves his pom-poms in the air for Nick when they meet up outside the change rooms. Nick smiles, tired but happy, and for maybe the first time in his life, Joe wishes Nick won't come any closer.

He does, of course, half-jogging to cover the distance between them, hugging Joe immediately, kissing the side of his face.

Joe stiffens, tries to pull away, but Nick holds on, saying, "It's okay, no one can see us," but Joe keeps struggling until Nick lets go, face hurt, confused.

Joe opens his mouth, trying to figure out a way to explain, but it's too late for that because his hair falls away from his face and Nick sees the bruise blooming above his left cheek bone, and his faces goes white and livid in the blink of an eye.

"Who did that to you?" Nick asks the question like it's an order for Joe to tell him, voice hard and clipped, even as his hand gently cups Joe's face, assessing the damage carefully. "Tell me who it was, Joe," he presses when Joe stays silent.

"No point, Nick."

Nick's eyes are narrow slits, and he grounds out, "The point is telling me what they look like so I can go change it."

Joe laughs, he can't help himself, he laughs and he kisses Nick's palm, taking a step away from him.

"Let's just go home, okay, Nick? I wanna go home."

Nick hauls his shoulders up to his chin, fighting the urge to stay and kick some ass, and then he breathes out, forcing himself to calm down, and says, "Okay, Joe. Let's go home."

\---

Joe calls Demi as soon as they get home, and when he asks her to come over with concealer, she doesn't even ask, she just says, "Give me fifteen minutes," and hangs up after blowing kiss into the phone.

Nick sits, tense on the edge of Joe's bed, waiting with him for Demi to arrive, and then stays there while he watches her blend beige and pink tones into Joe's skin until the bruises is all but gone.

Nick walks over to them once she's done, and he looks from Joe to her, and says, "Show me how."

"What?" Demi and Joe ask at the same time.

Nick nods at the make-up in front of them. "It's not going to fade for a couple days at least. He's going to need to wear it again. Show me how."

Demi looks at Joe, and he closes his eyes, but nods, and she takes the case out again, telling Nick about using different colors, about not using too much, shows him how to brush the soft pad across Joe's other cheek until they match.

When she leaves, they walk back up to Joe's room and Nick stares at him, long and hard.

"You're still so beautiful," he says, almost like an accusation, and Joe feels himself smile despite it all.

"Only for you," he promises, walking over and putting his hands on Nick's hips, swaying them together. "Only for you."

\---

Nick wakes up with Joe every morning, waiting on the other side of the door while he showers and does his hair, and then sneaks into the bathroom with him and does his make-up, covering up the bruise every day until it's gone.

On the last day, when Nick checks for lingering marks and finds none, he kisses Joe's healed cheek, and then the other, and says, "You're my hero, Joe. You always have been."

Joe smiles, meaning it for the first time in days, and says, "You're my hero, too."

\---

The seasons, such as they are in Texas, change, and Joe gets three acceptance letters on the same day. One from UCLA, one from Texas State University, and one from North Western. His hands shakes as he opens each envelope, and they shake more when he sees the words "We are happy to offer you a place at X institution," once, twice, three times.  
  
For a wild moment, he wants to tear them up, throw them away, burn them so Nick can never see and no one can ever prove he got in. He hadn't thought about what would happen if he did, he'd just blindly hoped he wouldn't, that he'd have an excuse other than his bottomless need for Nick, any other reason to stay.

He's still standing there, with all the ripped open letters spread before him across his bed when Nick comes into the room, absently asking Joe if he can borrow a pair of socks. He stops short in the middle of the room, arm out, pointing at Joe.

"Letters?" He forces the word out, voice strained.

Joe nods.

Nick's eyes bulge out a bit at the effort to stay calm, but he asks, "Did you get in?"

Joe nods again, not even able to look at Nick.

Then there's a _whoop_ and he spins around, stunned. Nick is grinning, his face split open with pride, and he gets to Joe in two long strides, picking him up off the ground and twirling him around the room, laughing and telling Joe he knew he could do it, that he always knew.

When he puts Joe down, Nick kisses him, soft and sweet, there in the room Joe's slept in since he was three, there in the home they've always shared. It's not the first time, but for a second it almost feels like the last, and Joe pulls him in closer, kissing Nick harder, longer, and refusing to believe it ever could be. He keeps kissing Nick until that feeling of panic fades, until each kiss is just one in a string of many, stretching out across the remainder of their lives.

\---

In May, new flowers start to bloom and the soccer team wins state for another year. Same as the last, Joe is there to cheer for Nick's victory, he's there to rush the field, and he's there to be tossed into the air, held aloft, there to feel infinite in Nick's moment of triumph, as they're deafened by the cheering around them.

The team all get rings, emblazoned with the school crest and a number one commemorating their victory.

Nick doesn't wear his, just keeps it in his pocket. He takes it out whenever he's sitting or standing still, and Joe catches him turning it over and over again in his palm.

He doesn't know what Nick's planning, but it's clear he's working something out in his mind as he turns that ring over, his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. Joe watches, and waits, until the day Nick asks him if he wants to go for a ride and his face shows that there's no acceptable answer but yes.

They drive to the school parking lot and Joe follows Nick behind the bleachers, sits down beside him on the freshly cut grass, which seems so much greener for being new.

He pulls up blades one by one until Nick clears his throat and Joe looks up at him expectantly, an encouraging half-smile on his lips.

Nick takes out his ring and, for a second, Joe thinks it's just another one of those other times, expects him to start pushing it around in his palm with one finger, to toss it high in the air and catch it deftly, like Joe's seen him do countless times in the last weeks.

Instead, Nick's face grows serious, more serious that Joe has ever seen, and he holds the ring out to Joe like an offering of forever.

"I haven't been able to figure out what to do with this, I didn't know how to wear it when the win wasn't only mine - none of them have just been mine. Even though the whole team has them, even though it's fair like that, I don't deserve this, not on my own. I never would have gotten here - had any of this - not without you. Not just the cheering," he smiles shyly and ducks his head, "although that didn't hurt. It's always just been you, Joe. You making me believe, you believing in me. I don't ever --"

Joe slows his speech with a hand that reaches out and closes over Nick's outstretched one, squeezing hard.

Nick shakes head, pulling himself together, and says, "I need you to hold on to it for me, okay, Joe?" His eyes are wide, from fear, from hope. "I just need you to hold on, you understand?" Just a little bit longer, just a few more months, a couple more years.

Joe nods dumbly, watches as Nick slips the ring onto his finger and says, "Yes, Nick. I do."


End file.
